Laughter and family

This weekend my wonderful husband and I decided to get out of Dodge for a while and visit my brother and his wife in Regina. It was a lot of fun, particularly because my other brother and his wife and kids was also in Regina. The three of us (my 2 brothers and I) are quite close. We moved into the city together when Andrew got back from Iowa and lived together until Andrew got married a year later. Ian and I continued to live together for a number of years after that. We had a fun time together. Now that we are all married, the cast of characters has changed a little, but I think that these additions have only made things better for all of us.

My family has always been a source of comfort and support for me. I only have brothers, and most people tell me that it is weird that we are all so close. My brothers have always been a strong influence on me, sometimes to my mother's chagrin. They are constantly making sure that I am okay, and their homes (as we got older) were a sanctuary where I could go to escape anything, even myself. My sister in laws are all wonderful, and have made my brothers who they are today. Thank goodness for the influence of women!

To get back to this weekend, we came , we saw, we laughed!

The Natural History Museum has been my favourite spot in Regina since I was probably three years old. I was so much fun to go there with my brothers, their spouses and children, and our very good friends (Russ, Beth, and Eli; whom we claim as family, whether they like it or not!). Eli was a little scared of Mega Munch, but I think that he did quite well.

Pictures to come later.

Life goes on

So it has been two weeks since I thought that my world was ending, and thankfully, it didn't end.

I am so thankful for the support and love and prayers that so many people have sent our way. I am especially grateful for the space that people have given Mark and I. We have been slowly starting our lives back up and getting back into the swing of things. I think that it is because of all of the prayers that this has been a fairly painless process. We are so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful, uplifting people.

My faith continues to grow as I become more and more sure that my son chose this path for his life and I remember all of the things that I have been taught and that I learned regarding agency and eternity. I am thankful for my trials, because I know that there are people who suffer so much more than me. I am blessed with two children who didn't need to live to be tried and tested, they just needed a body and Heavenly Father trusted me to be the one to give that to them and then raise them later.

I wouldn't have wished this circumstance on anyone, but I am glad that my Heavenly Father thinks that I am strong enough to handle it, so that is what I am going to do. I am lucky that I get to be surrounded by wonderful women who are having good, healthy pregnancies. I have lots of friends and family who are expecting and I love that their situation is different than mine, because I need to know that good pregnancies happen. Children are a blessing and I am lucky to not have feelings of jealousy or bitterness towards those who have them. I think that this is another blessing, because, I think that it would be hard to be at church or even to be in this world if you harboured those kind of feelings.

I am sorry for the long post, but I felt the need to update. And, really, everyone who reads this knows that I can never shut up. See you all at some point.

Our Chosen Spirit

So most of you have probably heard that our beloved child has had his calling and election made sure and has returned to dwell with Heavenly Father. For those of you who have not yet heard, I will tell you what I can.
Our baby stopped moving on Thursday, and that night we had confirmation that the baby had died. I will spare all the details and let you know that on Friday I gave birth to a beautiful, perfect baby boy. We named him Eric Andrew John Kilistoff. He was buried today at 11AM surrounded by family who will have to wait to know him.

We are so sad, but we have been so blessed through this entire process with loving family, caring doctors and nurses, and an abundance of inspiration and revelation regarding our beautiful son. I have a Father in heaven who knows and loves me. I am so thankful for my faith and the knowledge of the gospel that I have. This has given me comfort as I think of my son and the relationship that we will have to wait to have. He is our son and because we are an eternal family, he will always be our son.

Thank you to all who have tried to contact us or talked to our parents. We love and appreciate the support and prayers. We are still trying to get our heads back on straight before we really feel comfortable with people again. So thank you in advance for giving us space.

The Countdown is ON!

So, after a very interesting meeting with my specialist, it seems that this baby is going to make an early appearance, rather than wait the full time. The question is, when?! Due to my continued problems with blood pressure, the doctor doesn't feel that it is safe for me to go full term and is contemplating a scheduled induction. He is just waiting on a series of tests to decide when the day is that we will start everything. If the baby is developing on schedule, and I am still a rollercoaster of pressures, then they will deliver ASAP. If they can stabilize me, then they will try to wait until 37 weeks before they induce me.

I will admit to being a little scared, mainly because of all of the unknown elements. The when, where, how, sort of stuff. I am really hoping to avoid a C-section if at all possible, just for the recovery aspect of things. I think that other than that I am ready, my bags are almost packed, and everything is pretty much done. Come what may!

I will update as often as I know anything different, but it looks as though baby Kilistoff will be appearing in a home near you in less than 3 weeks!

Wish me luck!

To My One and Only

How does one fully express the depth of everlasting love? Easy, you can't, so you show it in eveything you do and say. That is what you do for me everyday.



I love you so much.



Happy Anniversary.

Just Being Calm

thank you so much for the advice from you all. I really appreciate that you took the time to help me. To all who don't know, my blood pressure has come down a little now that life has gotten a little calmer. I am trying to make sure that I take time every day to rest and spend time bonding with the baby to be. Some days are better than others. My mom has been a huge help with taking me to appointments and being a sounding board for all of my insane worries. There are less than 10 weeks until this baby arrives and i am trying to make all of the big decisions now so that I am ready for when it arrives.

As I have never done this before, I have a little question for all of those who have done this a time or two; What is one thing you wish people would have told you prior to having your baby that would have made the first few weeks at home easier? Also, if anyone has any reccommendations of a good "first years" or new baby book, that would be most welcome.

Again, thank you for the advice, I am doing my best to listen to both it and my doctor's.

Advice needed

Hello All!

After a particularly depressing doctor's visit today, I am in need of some advice. My weight has gone down again and my blood pressure is way up. Can anyone offer some advice at how to get me to relax without exerting too much effort, as I am officially banned from strenuous activity. I want to get my blood pressure back down so that I can continue this pregnancy without worrying. Thankfully, it is not so high as to worry about preclampsia or anything, it is just way higher than it has been during the rest of the pregnancy.

Advice is welcome.