An apology and an explanation

I first started this blog as a way to get my thoughts out of my head for a while. I had just graduated from university, quit my job at the salon, and started a home business. And we were struggling with fertility. I called the blog "party of two, please" because I was scared that this was our lot in life; to be a couple desperately wanting children, but never able to maintain a pregnancy. Now, over 4 years later, and with 6 pregnancies and two beautiful sons, the title seemed like a misnomer. We were no longer a family of only two. I debated for months about changing the blog; coming up with a cute alliteration of our name, or a variation of a common phrase, but with a name like Kilistoff, not much can be done. I decided to leave it, and have it stand as a symbol of my husband and my commitment to each other and our unity. I feel like, after such a long absence, that I need to reintroduce myself and my family. Here are some, very honest, facts about me: 1) I am almost 30, and not dealing very well with it. 2) I am scared of large groups, especially of large groups of women,because I feel inadequate and unsure of myself. Consequently, I avoid these kind of get togethers if I can.but, I am working hard to change this. 3) I feel guilt constantly for working as much as I do, instead of being with my kids, but am selfishly pleased that I can support our family. 4) I will do or give anything for those I love. There is no request to big. 5) my mom is my hero. 6) My family is the center of my world. My brothers, parents, nieces, nephews, in-laws, are all individual and amazing. 7) my life started when Mark, my husband, came into it and made everything better. 8) I get sarcastic when I am nervous. 9) I love to learn. I get almost obsessive for awhile when I learn to do something new. 10) reading is both a passion and an escape for me. 11) I want to have my phD before I turn 40. Now my family: Mark is already 30 (haha!)He is quiet, supportive, loving, smart, funny, and every good thing. He loves games and movies, but struggles to stay awake while watching them. He is an amazing father. He is the favorite uncle and the best toy ever. The kids love to jump on him and drive cars over him. He has dreams for his future, and I want desperately for him to achieve them. He is my best friend. My sons are so cool. Sam is almost three. He loves to clean, fix things, and copy Mark. He is a auburn-haired bundle of energy. He loves his family and tells us every day. He can read The Hungry Caterpillar. He loves to share with Charlie, especially food. He will be eating his breakfast (his favorite is granola with yogurt) and for every bite he takes, he will feed one to Charlie. Charlie is almost a year and a half. He is happy and has a huge smile for everyone. He wants to do everything that Sam does. He loves to climb, often without thinking about how he will get down. He is chatty and still likes to cuddle. He is a momma's boy. His platinum hair is soft and straight. He is clumsy. That is us, in a nutshell. Hopefully, I will do a better job keeping it updated. Sorry for the absence.