A letter to my child

Dear Sam,
You are nearly six months old now, and I can hardly believe how much you have changed. I love that look on your face as you figure out how to do something new. I love your smile; how it lights up your entire face; how you light up my day when you look at me and grin.
You are really starting to change. You move so much. You roll and sit up and gnaw on anything that you can get your hands on. Your favorite toys are your giraffe Sophie, your crinkly lion, and any blanket or cloth. You like to giggle and talk (such a surprise with me as your mother!)
Solid foods are a new thing you are trying, and loving. You get so excited whenever you see food coming towards you. You even start to dance a little in your chair.
Sam, we waited a long time for a child; for you. You were worth the wait. You make every day special.
Love Mama

A Letter to Myself

Dear Jess,
Read this letter when Sam is two, ten, thirteen, sixteen, and nineteen. Remember the joy you felt when you met this special spirit for the first time and realized that you got to keep this one. Remember that love you felt as your son was overjoyed with something as simple as a blanket or his own feet. Remember that pride you felt as Sam grew and discovered new things. Remember how he would sometimes stop eating because he was too busy smiling up at you. How he always had cold hand in the morning because he would sleep with them above his head, no matter how you tried to keep them under a blanket.
I tell you to remember these simple things because look how much he has changed in the 6 months and how much you have forgotten. Also, there are times when he will drive you crazy, and you need to remember that first love you felt for him. He is special.

Sam 1 day. Sam 1 month Sam 3 months (gnawing on a blanket!). I'll add newer ones later.

A Tale of Two Blowouts

Sam is three months old now and we have been really lucky in the diaper department.
If there have been "accidents," they have been of the watery, number 1 variety. And then yesterday our diaper innocence, if you will, was lost forever.

Picture this, Mark and I all ready for church, and getting packed up to be on time for Mark's meetings. Mark hands a sleeping Sam to me to put in the car seat.
I cuddle him in close for a little snuggle first.

Mark exclaims "Oh Yuck!"


I look over, mistakenly thinking that perhaps Sam had thrown up on him.
Oh, how I wish that it was puke.

All over Mark's white shirt sleeve, the couch pillow, myself (due to the cuddle), and my son's whole left side was a coating of my son's digestive product (ewww!).



But we thought, no big deal, he's three months old and this is the only time it has happened. Not too shabby.



and then it happened again.



Yet another picture for you. I come home this morning after a house call and both my men are in the bathroom. Sam is wrapped in a towel on the floor and Mark is in the shower (no need to picture this particular part). Sam is happy; smiling and cooing, kicking his legs and punching the air with his hands. Apparently, Sam had once again been busy and Mark had no choice but to shower both Sam and himself to get everything cleaned up. I go into the baby's room and it is like Hiroshima (poo style) has occur ed. "Stuff" covered stuff, like clothes and blankets, are scattered in smelly bunches. I go back into the bathroom to get Sam, and he is still really happy.



As I look down at him, I understand why he is so pleased with himself, as he proceeds to pee in a wide arc all over the floor, the towel, and himself.



It is at this point that I realize that laughter is the only real option. Because how can you get mad at a face like this:

So much stuff-No Time

Sorry for the lack of updates lately. New baby=no free time. As it is, I am writing this with one hand as I hold him in the other.

Sam is great. As of last week he is 11 pounds, 1 ounce, and healthy and strong. He has discovered his voice and will use it loudly when hungry. He and Mark are great buddies and I often find them with their heads together "telling secrets."

Mark is adjusting well to staying home with Sam. He was a little stir crazy at first, but now I think that he is enjoying it. I love that he is staying home with him. It is so nice not to have to worry about finding babysitting for Sam every day while I am working. Not that I consider it babysitting when Mark looks after him; he is parenting.

I continue to work hard on behalf of our family. We have been really blessed that I am able to work and still be a mother to Sam.

We are approaching the anniversary of Eric's birth again and I am hoping that it goes as well as last year. we are at a loss once more as to how to commemorate it. I'm sure that we will think of something.

To sum up the last two months: We are happy, busy, and healthy and looking forward to more months of the same.

Welcome to the World!

Sorry for the delay, but we've been busy!

Samuel Edward James Kilistoff was born Friday morning at 9:09 am, weighing 6lbs, 10oz, and 20 1/4 inches long. We are so excited to been trusted with this healthy, happy little guy. He has a full head of blond/coppery hair, a crease in his chin, and a dimple in each cheek. He is squeaky and grunty and we think he's great.

His arrival was kind of interesting, and very different from my last birth experience. I was booked for an induction Thursday morning, but the nurse called that morning and said that they were bumping me due to the fact that there were 6 other priority cases that needed dealt with that morning. We were pretty let down, but we decided that we needed to be positive about the whole thing. That afternoon we were called by the nurses and they said to come in right then because things were pretty calm. We got there at 4:15 and were admitted right away. The nurse that was assigned to me told we that it was going to take a while for things to get underway because there were 7 women who had simultaneously decided to give birth and all of the residents were busy.

At 7pm, they started my induction and stuff started to happen right away, it was really uncomfortable, especially because Mark decided that this was a good time to come down with stomach flu. At 10:30 they moved me into labour and delivery, even though I wasn't that far dilated, because they wanted to start running the antibiotics (Strep B positive). They stopped my induction because it was going too fast for me to get the full dose of antibiotics. At 3:30am they broke my water and started a different induction drug at 4am. This drug didn't go so well. Every time I had a contraction, the baby's heart rate did funny things, so they stopped it. Then on my own I dilated a little more. They decided a 5:30 to start the drug again. After only 2 contractions, we stopped it again, because the same thing happened again.

At this point they were pretty discouraged. At 6:30 am they checked me again, and again I had dilated another cm on my own, but my contractions were not consistent. I filled out pre-op papers and got myself mentally ready to have a c-section. I had one last frantic prayer that I wouldn't have to undergo a c-section if it were at all possible and felt that, regardless of what happened, that everything would be fine. Mark was the worst shade of gray and couldn't even stand upright.

After a nurse shift change, I was still waiting to know what was going to happen. At 8:30am the new nurse came in and she said she was going to check me, and confirm the course of action for delivery. In less than 2 hours I had dilated to 9 cm and was almost ready to go. No c-section!

My doctor didn't believe the nurse and checked me himself. Again, 9-9 1/2 cm was the prognosis. Dr. Schubert had another patient to check at a different hospital, and decided to go do that while I finished dilating and the room was set up for delivery. The nurse called him back 10 minutes later, because I needed to push. I breathed and waited for him to return as the nurse rushed around and got everything ready. Dr. Schubert rushed in at 9 am and after a very short time, Sam arrived and life changed forever.

We love our new little boy and are very happy that everything is fine. Mark and I can't believe that after so many years of waiting, we actually get to raise a little one here on earth.

Thanks for all of the prayers and well wishes over the last 9 months. They are always appreciated.

Update

So, much has happened since my last post.

To fill in any gaps, this is what my weekend entailed:
1)Friday-after a trip to Costco in the morning, I started having contractions that went from 15 minutes apart to 3 minutes apart. We went to the hospital later that night to see what (if anything) was going on. The nurses and doctor were great and after a lot of tests the doctor said that stuff was definitely happening but that they were really busy and she thought that I should try to get some sleep at home, but that she thought that she would see me before the morning.

2) Saturday-the contractions continue, but further apart. Walking makes everything speed up, but when I relaxed they would slow. We decide not to go back until something definite happens. We have a rough night, but take it in stride.

3) Sunday- Mark and I are so tired from the night before that we decide to stay home and try to sleep. I am still contracting. We go to Mark's parent's place for supper, and after a walk, the contractions speed way up again and become really uncomfortable. Mark and I go home and try to relax, but the contractions rage on, so at 9:30pm we decide to go back into the hospital. My own doctor was on call, so that was nice. He was very busy, and told us that if we delivered that night and the baby needed the NICU, that we would have to go to Calgary because the NICU here was closed. We were examined and tested again and he confirmed that things were progressing, but he was scared to do much of an examination because he really didn't want my water to break. He was hoping that things would slow back down because of how busy everything was. After several hours (we left at 1:30am), they decided to send us home with orders to take it easy with the hope that things would slow back down. He also threatened to move our induction if the NICU situation didn't resolve itself.

4)Monday-Tired, but feeling pretty good, I did a client's colour, and then got my own hair done. Mark's sister and her husband came over and we played games and then they stayed for supper and the hockey game.

5)Tuesday (today)- we had an early morning doctor's appointment. He was really happy that we have been able to make it this far along in the pregnancy (past-term), and he said that we were a go for Thursday. Relief all around! Still contracting, but with the end in sight, I am a much happier person. Sprout should arrive swiftly on Thursday as long as we don't get bumped.

ps-In regards to the NICU situation, we found out that the NICU was "closed" because they had so many really sick babies in there that they had no room for another baby. Hence, they were shipping the pre-term women to Calgary. Scary.

Messed Up Morning

So, at my doctor's appointment yesterday I was feeling a little stressed and consequently my blood pressure was a little elevated. My doctor said to me to keep checking it regularly and if it hadn't gone back to normal by this morning, then I should call him. Well, after a long, sleepless, contraction-filled night where my blood pressure remained high, I started to think that maybe I should do something. Mark agreed and we called my doctor's office, he immediately called back ad told us to go to the hospital and that we would probably have the induction today.

I am home. Obviously, we did not deliver today. After hours of tests, everything came back as fine. The blood pressure came back down as we waited to find out what was happening, and the baby was happy and healthy (and really didn't enjoy being monitored). I was super excited that everything was fine, but a little let down that we couldn't just stay and get things done.
I was (and continue to) contracting fairly regularly, so I guess we will wait and see.

And the Date is...

NOT SOON ENOUGH!!!! Just kidding, well, I'm a little kidding, a little serious.

I went to the doctor today, planning for a Friday or Monday induction. Much to my chagrin, my doctor would not get behind either of those dates anymore. He was thinking that we could wait another couple of weeks. Full-term. Gross. Who wants to go full term when their doctor was originally saying 34 weeks?! After a little explanation from him regarding his travel schedule over the next weeks, as well as a few tears from me regarding my stress and anxiety level, he made some calls and we agreed on the 6th (next Thursday). I am really happy that he was willing to change his plans to accommodate us and that he listened to us.

Now, what the heck am I going to do with almost a week off? Work is done on Thursday, and I have nothing to do after that. I vote jammie pants, Cheetos, and bad daytime television.

Let me know what you think.

Waiting

So, here I sit, still pregnant, getting fatter, waiting impatiently for my doctor to say that it is time to be induced. As I sit I catalogue all of the body parts that hurt, ache, or are swollen. Then I remind myself how lucky I am to a) be pregnant, b) not have to wait until 40 weeks to deliver, and c) be having such a great pregnancy that my doctor feels confident pushing the dates back. Sometimes it is hard to keep perspective.
We are down to the last week and a half and part of me is super excited and the other half is quietly going insane. I really want to have this child; I love it already and really want to meet it. On the other hand, I have no idea what I am going to do once it gets here. Add those feelings of inadequacy to my building anxiety (my last child was gone at this same week gestation), and you have the makings for a crazy person.
Thankfully, between my husband, prayer, work, and loving family members, we are keeping the crazy thoughts to a minimum, and focusing in on the happy, excited stuff.
On a lighter note, you should see me try to bend to pick things up. It is a riot! Add that to the waddling, and I am quite the sight most days.

The Fat Lady is Singing, and We All Know what that Means!

I AM DONE. Sick of multiple bathroom trips, constant heartburn, and my husband's chuckling as I waddle up and down stairs.

With only a few weeks left now I am trying to patient and grateful for the wonderful experience of pregnancy, but, I will admit to struggling a little. The physical discomfort is only one thing. As I get closer to when my last child was born, I am getting a little anxious and I have to keep reminding myself to relax and be faithful.

This pregnancy has been so different from my last and there is no reason to think that it will have anything but a happy ending. The baby is big, healthy, and extremely active. For this, I am very grateful. My health has also been great, so I can remember to be thankful for these blessings. It is only when I am alone during the day or during the middle of the night when doubt tries to seep in and ruin my happy thoughts. Oh well, as I said, only a few weeks left, then the real fun begins!

Thanks for listening to the whine, I promise to try to be better.

Ready for baby?

8 weeks left.
Dr. Schubert has decided that this baby is going to be delivered early, and I have 2 months to get my head ready. Physically, I am absolutely ready. I am almost impatient for this baby to come. I feel as though I have been pregnant for three years, and, if you include the time trying to get pregnant, the time being pregnant, and the short times in between pregnancies, it has been pretty close to that amount of time waiting for a baby.

Mentally, there are so many things racing through my head that I am concerned that the crazy is going to come bursting out through my ears! I nearly had a panic attack the other day because I couldn't remember what the book said about cleaning the new baby's belly button. Really, belly button angst. What a stupid thing to get stressed about! I am also driving Mark crazy with my "nesting." Most nights I am up until after 2 am reorganizing and throwing things out. I can't help it. Giant ball of crazy, remember.

Anyway, time will tell how the next weeks go.

Fat and Sassy!

No one ever told me how different one pregnancy can be from another. I honestly have to say that if this is what normal pregnancies are like, then I would probably do it again.
Life is good. Lots of tests and scans and all of that, but Sprout appears to be growing well and is certainly making its prescence known in the form of twists, turns, and boots to the tummy.
The thing that is seriously throwing me off is the weight thing. Still losing weight this time, but I am bigger girth wise than I was when I delivered last time. I actually look pregnant this time. It is a little weird. Oh well, there are worse things in life than a tummy bump.
Baby comes in 12 weeks! crazy!