So most of you have probably heard that our beloved child has had his calling and election made sure and has returned to dwell with Heavenly Father. For those of you who have not yet heard, I will tell you what I can.
Our baby stopped moving on Thursday, and that night we had confirmation that the baby had died. I will spare all the details and let you know that on Friday I gave birth to a beautiful, perfect baby boy. We named him Eric Andrew John Kilistoff. He was buried today at 11AM surrounded by family who will have to wait to know him.
We are so sad, but we have been so blessed through this entire process with loving family, caring doctors and nurses, and an abundance of inspiration and revelation regarding our beautiful son. I have a Father in heaven who knows and loves me. I am so thankful for my faith and the knowledge of the gospel that I have. This has given me comfort as I think of my son and the relationship that we will have to wait to have. He is our son and because we are an eternal family, he will always be our son.
Thank you to all who have tried to contact us or talked to our parents. We love and appreciate the support and prayers. We are still trying to get our heads back on straight before we really feel comfortable with people again. So thank you in advance for giving us space.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
The Countdown is ON!
So, after a very interesting meeting with my specialist, it seems that this baby is going to make an early appearance, rather than wait the full time. The question is, when?! Due to my continued problems with blood pressure, the doctor doesn't feel that it is safe for me to go full term and is contemplating a scheduled induction. He is just waiting on a series of tests to decide when the day is that we will start everything. If the baby is developing on schedule, and I am still a rollercoaster of pressures, then they will deliver ASAP. If they can stabilize me, then they will try to wait until 37 weeks before they induce me.
I will admit to being a little scared, mainly because of all of the unknown elements. The when, where, how, sort of stuff. I am really hoping to avoid a C-section if at all possible, just for the recovery aspect of things. I think that other than that I am ready, my bags are almost packed, and everything is pretty much done. Come what may!
I will update as often as I know anything different, but it looks as though baby Kilistoff will be appearing in a home near you in less than 3 weeks!
Wish me luck!
I will admit to being a little scared, mainly because of all of the unknown elements. The when, where, how, sort of stuff. I am really hoping to avoid a C-section if at all possible, just for the recovery aspect of things. I think that other than that I am ready, my bags are almost packed, and everything is pretty much done. Come what may!
I will update as often as I know anything different, but it looks as though baby Kilistoff will be appearing in a home near you in less than 3 weeks!
Wish me luck!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
To My One and Only
How does one fully express the depth of everlasting love? Easy, you can't, so you show it in eveything you do and say. That is what you do for me everyday.
I love you so much.
Happy Anniversary.
I love you so much.
Happy Anniversary.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Just Being Calm
thank you so much for the advice from you all. I really appreciate that you took the time to help me. To all who don't know, my blood pressure has come down a little now that life has gotten a little calmer. I am trying to make sure that I take time every day to rest and spend time bonding with the baby to be. Some days are better than others. My mom has been a huge help with taking me to appointments and being a sounding board for all of my insane worries. There are less than 10 weeks until this baby arrives and i am trying to make all of the big decisions now so that I am ready for when it arrives.
As I have never done this before, I have a little question for all of those who have done this a time or two; What is one thing you wish people would have told you prior to having your baby that would have made the first few weeks at home easier? Also, if anyone has any reccommendations of a good "first years" or new baby book, that would be most welcome.
Again, thank you for the advice, I am doing my best to listen to both it and my doctor's.
As I have never done this before, I have a little question for all of those who have done this a time or two; What is one thing you wish people would have told you prior to having your baby that would have made the first few weeks at home easier? Also, if anyone has any reccommendations of a good "first years" or new baby book, that would be most welcome.
Again, thank you for the advice, I am doing my best to listen to both it and my doctor's.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Advice needed
Hello All!
After a particularly depressing doctor's visit today, I am in need of some advice. My weight has gone down again and my blood pressure is way up. Can anyone offer some advice at how to get me to relax without exerting too much effort, as I am officially banned from strenuous activity. I want to get my blood pressure back down so that I can continue this pregnancy without worrying. Thankfully, it is not so high as to worry about preclampsia or anything, it is just way higher than it has been during the rest of the pregnancy.
Advice is welcome.
After a particularly depressing doctor's visit today, I am in need of some advice. My weight has gone down again and my blood pressure is way up. Can anyone offer some advice at how to get me to relax without exerting too much effort, as I am officially banned from strenuous activity. I want to get my blood pressure back down so that I can continue this pregnancy without worrying. Thankfully, it is not so high as to worry about preclampsia or anything, it is just way higher than it has been during the rest of the pregnancy.
Advice is welcome.
Monday, May 5, 2008
It's so hard to say goodbye.
How does one fully express one's self at the passing of a loved one? You can reminisce about the time spent together, cry about the missed opportunities for the future, or .... what? My beloved Grandma passed away very suddenly this weekend, and I must admit that I am at a loss at how to express what I feel. I am devastated for sure, but there is this edge of surealism that is preventing the healing process, because I just can't believe that she is really gone.
I have great bunch of siblings that are reaching out to help my mother at this time. I don't think that most people would consider a 57- year-old who has lost both parents to be a orphan, but I know that this is how she feels. I think that the greatest blessing to come out of this is now we can give my grandmother the opportunity to accept the gospel and be sealed to my grandfather. No one in my mother's family is a member of our church, but they worked very hard to be supportive of the things that were important to us like when my brothers went on missions and when we were all married in the Temple. considering we were their only grandchildren, I thought that this was very nice.
My grandmother was a vital part of my life. I am not close with my dad's family at all, but my mom's family was always there for every important occasion, be it dance recitals, band concerts, graduations, etc. She was also there for the non important stuff, the evey day stuff. And it was through these occasions that I learned how important she was to me. My best memories of childhood involve sitting on this high stool in her sunny kitchen swinging back and forth as I told her some tale (always exaggerated) and she patiently listened as she was making something and then said, "well, that was sure some story Miss Jessie, are you sure that this is how it happened?" My grandma always called me Miss Jessie. She had since I was little, and continued to this day.
I loved my grandma and I will miss her so terribly. My biggest regret is that my children will not have the opportunity to know her personally. Love you and Miss you Grandma.
I have great bunch of siblings that are reaching out to help my mother at this time. I don't think that most people would consider a 57- year-old who has lost both parents to be a orphan, but I know that this is how she feels. I think that the greatest blessing to come out of this is now we can give my grandmother the opportunity to accept the gospel and be sealed to my grandfather. No one in my mother's family is a member of our church, but they worked very hard to be supportive of the things that were important to us like when my brothers went on missions and when we were all married in the Temple. considering we were their only grandchildren, I thought that this was very nice.
My grandmother was a vital part of my life. I am not close with my dad's family at all, but my mom's family was always there for every important occasion, be it dance recitals, band concerts, graduations, etc. She was also there for the non important stuff, the evey day stuff. And it was through these occasions that I learned how important she was to me. My best memories of childhood involve sitting on this high stool in her sunny kitchen swinging back and forth as I told her some tale (always exaggerated) and she patiently listened as she was making something and then said, "well, that was sure some story Miss Jessie, are you sure that this is how it happened?" My grandma always called me Miss Jessie. She had since I was little, and continued to this day.
I loved my grandma and I will miss her so terribly. My biggest regret is that my children will not have the opportunity to know her personally. Love you and Miss you Grandma.
Hildegard Betty Binnie
December 26, 1924-May 3, 2008
Beloved Mother, Grandmother, and Friend
Thursday, April 24, 2008
It's a....!!!
HUMAN! Yahoo!
So, to explain, I went for my ultrasound the other day and we confirmed that this being within me is of the human variety,(what a relief!) and that it has all of it's important limbs etc. Anyone who has spoken to me as of the last couple of weeks knows that I have been having nightmares about a one armed baby, so it was quite a relief to have them confirm, several times at my request, that the baby did indeed have two arms. I have to admit that after this appointment, I have been feeling really good about the whole pregnancy thing. It relieved my mind that the baby was healthy and whole.
I didn't find out what I was having. This is for a few reasons. First, I didn't want to. Second, the baby wouldn't have let the tech find out even if I wanted to know. She had to chase it around just to get the pictures that she needed. It was really funny to watch how frustrated that she was getting.
The baby is very long and skinny and has a perfect turned up nose. The tech was really cute when she saw the profile of the baby. she sighed and said, " oh, this is going to be a cute baby, look at it, it is just perfect!" Now I realize that she probably says this to every nervous expectant mother, but I still felt really good when she said that.
I guess I just keep incubating and hope that the baby doesn't get too much bigger. Long and skinny is just fine for me.
Oh, and I find out the results of my gestational diabetes check today. Wish me luck!
So, to explain, I went for my ultrasound the other day and we confirmed that this being within me is of the human variety,(what a relief!) and that it has all of it's important limbs etc. Anyone who has spoken to me as of the last couple of weeks knows that I have been having nightmares about a one armed baby, so it was quite a relief to have them confirm, several times at my request, that the baby did indeed have two arms. I have to admit that after this appointment, I have been feeling really good about the whole pregnancy thing. It relieved my mind that the baby was healthy and whole.
I didn't find out what I was having. This is for a few reasons. First, I didn't want to. Second, the baby wouldn't have let the tech find out even if I wanted to know. She had to chase it around just to get the pictures that she needed. It was really funny to watch how frustrated that she was getting.
The baby is very long and skinny and has a perfect turned up nose. The tech was really cute when she saw the profile of the baby. she sighed and said, " oh, this is going to be a cute baby, look at it, it is just perfect!" Now I realize that she probably says this to every nervous expectant mother, but I still felt really good when she said that.
I guess I just keep incubating and hope that the baby doesn't get too much bigger. Long and skinny is just fine for me.
Oh, and I find out the results of my gestational diabetes check today. Wish me luck!
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