Getting Older

So currently I am on the cusp of yet another birthday and I have just one question: If no one likes you when you're 23, then how do they feel about you when you are 24?

On a more serious note, I don't know if anyone else is like this, but I like to reflect when I get to a birthday. When I was in high school we were told to write out who we were going to be and what we were going to do by age 25. This was also an assignment when I was in hair school. Unfortunately, I found this list and assignment the other day while cleaning.

I say "unfortunately" because there were so many things on that list that I still haven't done, and I am running out of time. All in all, though, I was fairly proud of what I had done. I finished hair school and my degree (though the degree was in a different subject then planned); I got married and have a place to live (though not my own house); I have a job, but it isn't the one that I wanted to have; as well, I like to cook and have spent many years honing my skill, but I never took those professional cooking classes that I wanted.

I realized as I read my list, that the things that I hadn't done were the more spontaneous, adventurous things that somehow fell to the wayside when I was trying to figure the rest of my life out. I wanted (and still want) to swim with sharks in a steel cage (long story). I thought that I would have a few children by now (granted this was planned when I was 14, so cut me a little slack as to the timing thing, when you have been married for a year and a half, it would be hard to have a couple by now). I wanted to have travelled across Europe and spend several months being a lost tourist (anyone who knows my sense of direction knows that this is a distinct possibility).

I have accomplished many things and I know that I have many things yet to do, I think that I may have to change the timeline, because I am going to come up a little short!

At a loss for words

I know that I have been pretty absent lately with regards to the posting, but I find myself with nothing interesting to write about. Stay tuned, something interesting is on its way, I hope!

What is this TAG you speak of?

So I got tagged?! Liam you beast, how could you make me expose myself like this!

I am not very interesting, but here it goes:

1. My hair has ADHD. I need to constantly change it to be happy. (the medication helps, just kidding!)

2. I get really grouchy when I am hungry.

3. I really want to go back to university, but for a completely unrelated degree.

4. I am really claustrophobic. Like really. I can't even handle a blanket close to my face.

5. The smell of bacon makes me want to vomit.

6. I am a big clutz. I can trip when there is nothing to trip on. I bump myself on things that I have swerved to avoid.

There, happy now! I bet you all know way more than you ever wanted to. I am keeping the rest secret, so there! As for tagging others, TAG! If you read this and you haven't already done it, then consider yourself tagged.

The Comfort of Mundane things

This is a typical Monday for me. I wake up, do the normal waking up/getting ready things, and I drive Mark to school. Then it is my time. I do laundry, scrub floors, etc. and then I run errands. This is my day off.
I guess that I am lucky because I don't have little people trailing behind me as I clean, systematically destroying all that I have done. But, for all the monotony of having to clean everything and do everything all day, I actually don't mind it. I feel good as I check things off my list. (Yes, there is a list, mainly becuase I am anal!) Then at the end of the day I can sit back and be glad that I did what I could to keep our home as it should be. I want Mark to be able to study in peace, not worried about the mess or anything. I will admit that there are days when it seems like too much to do in a day and that I just don't have the energy. It is on these days that I move a little slower, but I know that I can get it done.
It is amazing how much we can talk ourselves into doing.

A Shower of Brides

So this weekend I was pleased (I guess) to be invited to my friend's bridal shower. She is getting married in two weeks and I am so happy for her to have found her eternal companion. This was your typical bridal shower with the usual games (Like the "What's in your purse game?" which I won!) as well as general embarassing of the bride to be. The first thing that we had to do was to write some encouragement/advice for the bride. Now, I wrote down all the things that people had told me, and I wrote down what I thought she should know, but then I hit a dead end. I stopped and I needed to think what it was that she needed to hear. Everyone is so individual that it is hard to know what kind of advice she needs. I don't know what she is dealing with inside, so I paused and took a little more time to reflect. I simply told her to relax and that life is too short to stress over the things that just don't matter.

It was at this point that the lightbulb went off above my head. I stress the silly things, I freak out (internally) about the things that don't matter. I think that we as women, particularly in our Church, feel like we are inadequate. We feel like we have to do so much more, and be so much better. I think that to some extent this is true. But, I think that so many of us have taken it to the next level.

It took a simple bridal shower for me to realize that I am being too hard on myself for the things that I am having trouble with. And if I have any advice for any woman, married or single, it is to let yourself relax a little and realize that even if you aren't perfect, you are still special and that perfection can be overrated.

the magic of books!

As I read so much, I figured that I would give into peer pressure and review some of the books that I have been reading. On the side of my blog you will see some of the books that I am either currently reading or have recently read. I welcome any questions regarding the books on this list and I would love to lend anyone books that they are interested in.

First: The Book of Jane
I found this book to be very interesting. Jane starts out with an enviable life and then stuff starts to happen. It is a modern retelling of the Book of Job from the Bible.
What I liked: This was a good clean book (So hard to find!) and it tells the story of my favourite book from the Bible, so where can you go wrong. This is the 3rd book from these authors. I enjoyed and highly recommend these books as well if you are looking for interesting, clean fiction books. Email me if you would like to borrow these, or any of my other books.

Second: The Last Wife of Henry VIII
Heavy on the fiction, with just enough history to keep things interesting and flowing. This is not a book for everyone, but if you are curious about medieval history at all, this is a less painful way to start things off. This author is also a historian, so the history that she does put in the books is fairly accurate. She has written many non-fiction books that are also very interesting. Should you enjoy this book, I would also recommend The Hidden Diary of Marie Antoinette, also by this author and also very interesting, if not factual. She makes you really like the heroine in her books.

Third (and final for this post): The Jane Austen Book Club

Okay but not great. Language and content make this book "out" for many readers. I found the authors use of language to be blocky and not consistent. This made the book extremely hard to read, and even harder to want to read.

So there it is, an extremely short review of some of the books that I have recently read. I hope that everyone, particularly the moms out there, take even 15 minutes a day to read something that they truly enjoy. While I love classical literature, sometimes it is just fun to explore some of the new authors out there. Who knows, someday they might be the classics!

Mistress of Spices

I love to cook. I feel more at home in the kitchen then I do anywhere else in my house. Traditionally the kitchen was the centre of all activity in the home and it often had the most designated space. Recently I had a spice party at my home. I have a wonderful client who sells the product and we had a wonderful time with family and friends discussing the various applications of the many spices. The range of ages was pretty amazing; from late fifties to teen aged women. As I sat there I looked around and if you had removed the modern trappings of our meeting we could have been any group of women at any stage of history. We could have been the earliest women discussing the best way to disguise the gamey flavour of a brontosaurus, or pioneer women exchanging seeds and recipes for their future homes. I felt like I was a part of a tangible thread of wonderful homemaking women passing their knowledge through the ages.
Granted this may be a little too much introspection for a simple spice party, but I just loved being surrounded by women with a similar purpose and suddenly I understood why women can be such a comfort to one another. We not only lift up others that are struggling, but we have the capacity, as well as the ability, to teach other women so that they do not need to feel inadequate for long.
I think the best thing was being able to sit next to my mother, a women that I admire above all others, and be able to discuss the spices as equals. I was able to share my knowledge of some spices and she was able to tell me about what she knew. Maybe I will have the opportunity to do this with my daughter some day.

Irrational Fear

So, I have a confession to make. I hate going to the doctor. It doesn't matter if I am going for a routine checkup and that nothing is wrong, I am still scared. I'm not really sure why. I had a great doctor all through my childhood and I have a wonderful, caring doctor now.Mark is making me go to the doctor this afternoon. I really have no right to complain because I do the same to him regularly. But, I REALLY don't want to go! It was so much nicer when you were little and you went in with your mom and she told the doctor what was wrong and you (the child) did not need to even open your mouth unless asked. Now, you are the person responsible for telling the doctor what ails you and I have to say that I don't like that. I have taken so many human microbiology classes, etc, that I now look at my list of symptoms and go, well I don't want to say that one because then she'll think that I have this. And slowly, but surely, I manage to pare down my list until I feel like an idiot for even bothering her with my little problem. I am positive that this is the wrong attitude, but I just can't help myself.

I am pretty sure that I am just fine, but I am glad that I have a husband who is determined enough to make me go see the professional who will confirm this. Or, if I am wrong, be able to tell me what is going on with my body.

I may not have my mom to come with me, but at least Mark sent me with a list of symptoms, just in case I decide to forget!

Creatures of habit

Do you ever have one of those mornings where, because of one event, the rest of your day seems off somehow? This morning was one such morning. The alarm didn't go off. I'm not sure if Mark hit the switch without realizing it, or what. So consequently, we had half an hour to get ready this morning instead of an hour and a half. This was no problem for me because I showered and everything last night. My poor husband had a little trouble. He hates rushing and it is a big deal if I can get him to take a shower that is less than 20 minutes in length. We managed though and got out the door only minutes after we normally do, cereal bowl in hand. So why did I feel so uncomfortable and stressed and rushed? We knew that he would be on time and that I would have no trouble getting everything else ready on time this morning.

This is my theory: that once your mind processes the fact that you are late, then it takes a while for it to back up and go "Okay, we're good, everything is fine now." I think that my mind needs a reboot button.

Insomnia

I know that two posts in one day is not exactly conventional, but bear with me as I try very hard to get the hang of things. I am only on here still because I can't sleep. I haven't been sleeping well for weeks. As many of my family members will tell you, this is typically a sign of stress for me, but I really don't feel stressed, so I don't know what is causing it. Mark is worried and is insisting that I go and see a doctor. I don't want to go. His big complaint is that I am exhausted during the day, but what he doesn't realize is that I spend half of the night awake and perfectly alert. I don't know why me internal clock is broken, but it is really starting to get annoying!

If you can't beat them...

So, I realize that most people write blogs so they can tell family that is far away all about what their various children, spouses, etc are up to and I think that this is great. Unfortunately, I am without the children, so this will just have to be about Mark and I. I greatly admire the blogs that many women that I know have created, and I hope that my lack of parental ability will not be held against me.

So it is just Mark and myself. We got married on a hot day in June just over a year ago, but it seems like it was forever. I don't mean that in a negative way, but when you meet your soulmate, time really starts to lose its focus. So very many things have changed in that year. We went from both being students and the crazy world of academia with me working all the time, to Mark being the only student when I convocated in May. We went from trying to get pregnant, to succeeding, to back to square one when we lost our baby in August. I don't write this for pity. I write it because I have to.

Now, I no longer work in the salon and Mark goes to school. This is a very big change for us, and we are really enjoying it. Well, I am not sure how much Mark is enjoying school this semester, but he can handle it!

Life takes you in directions that you just don't expect, the trick is to roll with the punches.